Brewdog, The Sun and Craft Beer Hypocrisy – Part 42

Let us get this out of the way first.  Being raised with family friends who were miners I was brought up (there are stickers in my mum’s loft still) to not have anything to do with the Murdoch press.  To that end I’ve remained true.  No money of mine has ever paid for The Sun, The Times, the former News of the World or any printed press.

Then again, I’ve have had Sky once, for a few months (though of course I also watch it in the pub, and being a fan of rugby league, his money is much needed) and I regularly watch films from 20th Century Fox.

Damn, boycotting is difficult when it means missing good stuff, just look at all the satellite dishes in Liverpool, but they don’t buy The Sun so that is definately #JFT96

And I am most definitely, unequivocally100% not a fan of Brewdog

But I have drank their beer and been to the bars.

In fact in London over this August bank holiday I was indeed in a Brewdog bar and I did visit a Craft Beer Co. establishment too.

I also happened to have paid for a drink that would equate to £18 a pint.

So it amused me that a quick read of the tiny microcosm that is beer twitter (still not 100% weaned off prodding that infected tooth) that both Brewdog and The Sun (and Craft Beer Co and the price of beer) were making the rounds of the self-important and self-anointed.

Link to the Sun (beware hypocrites)

I do wonder if any Equity Punks have cashed in, or if they really are under some illusion that they can inform better marketing from the business they bought into.

I mean that is the trend these days isn’t it, BDS, Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions?  Vote with your feet and your wallet.  Disagree with something, overtly offended by something, then they don’t get your cash. Simple.  Just ignore it. It will go away.

It must be hard when you’ve created the monster yourself and then it starts to devour its own.  It is a small facet of the current behemoth that is liberal thinking in this day and age.  Intersectionalism all round.

Those same people who scream that satire (not that they actually understand the concept) should only punch up and not down; but when it comes to the Sun and especially their readers, they are fair game, the stupid, racist Brexit voting, easily duped sheep.

Oh and Wetherspoons drinkers are scum too

Everyone is a target, just don’t think you’re any better than anyone else just because of what you drink, where you drink and what you can afford.

That is called snobbery and it isn’t, ever, a good look.

 

Long live the schism.

 

Thanks for reading.

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Stairway to Heineken

*Not to be performed in guitar shops*

There’s a Logan who’s not sure if all that glitters is gold
Is he buying a stairway to Heineken?
If he does then he knows, all Brewdog bars are all closed
Maybe investment from private equity is what he should go for.
Ooh, ooh, is he buying a stairway to Heineken?

There’s a sign on the wall saying punk, but are you sure?
But craft deals in absolute and not duality of meanings.
In a Fevertree by the brook, there’s a neckbeard who sings,
Some day all beer will be subject to minimum unit pricing.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There’s a feeling I get when I look to the bar,
And my autistic spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke in the breeze,
But a 2007 ban makes those stand outside.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it’s bellowed that soon, if we all sing the same tune,
Then the Peter will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the cellars will echo with Kegstar.

*Enter Drums*

If there’s a bushel in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a spring clean, please ring CaskWatch.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
It’s either cask or keg and that’s it.

And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know,
The CAMRA’s calling you to join them,
Boak Bailey, they can you hear the wind blow, but did you know?
Your blogs are really just all hot wind.

*5th best guitar solo ever*

And as we drink on down the road
Did we all just really sell our souls?
There walks a lady we all know
Who fights beer sexism and wants to show
Adverts disguised as journalism turn to gold.
But no one listens very hard
The tune will one day all be lost.
When it’s just beer and that is all
Your hand is dealt, now just call fold.

Is he buying a stairway to Heineken?

One in the Pink, Brewdog in the Stink

 

I feel cheap linking to Brewdog, I feel cheap writing about it

It is quite simple to grab attention these days but the relative shit storm that greeted this huge virtue signal warms my cockles.

It appears I have to be kept in all beer/twitter related rages via my mates on Whatsapp, then like prodding a sore tooth I step foot onto said social media platform and then disappear down a rabbit hole of shit for an hour.

Of course in this wonderful age of mainly faux outrage, trying to look like you’re at the forefront of equality and not just using it as a cheap marketing tool is always going to be difficult but as with anything Brewdog related, it is just being talked about that is enough, positive or negative in unimportant.

Of course what needs to be clarified, when parody is not enough is this…

THE GENDER PAY GAP IS FUCKING BULLSHIT

Terrible maths built on top of agendas of rage built on foundations of shit of every kind.

But I suppose if I genuinely had a liking for Punk IPA I might stroll into their Manchester bar and simply demand my 20% off Pink IPA as, at least for that day, I will identify as a female.

The politicising of the most banal things infests everything these days.

Black Panther was made out to be something greater than just a super hero film with black actors in it, when everyone fawning over it seemed to forget about previous heroes films like Hancock (Will Smith) or the good, great and dog-shit Blade Trilogy (Wesley Snipes) to name a few.

Same goes with Wonder Woman the previous year. In fact one cinema in the US hosted “women only” showings of it.  Then had to append it to “identify as women” to full assuage the temper tantrum brats out there.

Wonder Woman and Black Panther were/are successes because the general public want to see a good, entertaining film; gender and race seldom enter into it.  If everyone was so pumped for Wonder Woman then perhaps Justice League wouldn’t have been a major flop.

Why am I talking films?  Because if I may suggest that all beer is also actually a craft (and not craft, if that makes sense), then like films and music people are injecting segregation.

It is not about equality or finding a balance, it is becoming an unnecessary need to find and sew division when there needn’t be any.  The “with us or against us” diatribe is a nonsense but it is playing up big time both in the entertainment industry and it would seem, the beer world.

And like I don’t care who stars or directs or writes the films I go and see, I just want to see something good, nor do I care about the gender behind the mash paddle; it could be a 3-headed elephant like creature with 5 breasts, 3 vaginas, 2 penises and a plethora of gonads and I would not care a jot as long as the beer was good.

One final thought on this subject of segregation, while swimming through twitter shit I saw this…

Now I can firstly assume that the women only tasting is also open to those who “identify as a woman” too but either way after being told that beer has to be more inclusive it seems a sad indictment that, private entity or not, the wonderful Rutland Arms, the organiser(s) of Sheffield Beer Week and Ladies that Beer would think this was a good direction to go in.

I know the theory behind it, I understand it, I simply don’t agree with it and if equality is supposed to be some kind of virtuous and moral stance then this, well it’s discrimination isn’t it?

Plus I’m wondering if the staff at the Rutland Arms will all be female for the 2pm tasting too?

Meh.  In the end I obviously cared enough to write this piece about it but this is just a distillation of events that lead to disillusionment.  The above are genuine questions, so if anyone reading this wants to point this piece in the direction of those involved then the comments are always open (pending spam block) for replies.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

Prequel: If Beer Was…

(originally published on April 11th 2017 – reposted to make a point about Article 13)

 

If Brewdog Was…

They Live

This past weekend, a reincarnated ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper took a trip up to Aberdeen, Scotland.

 

 

On the way there he was given some sunglasses which caused strange things to be seen when he tried them on…

 

 

 

He then found his way to a meeting of, well he didn’t know what to make of it…

 

 

 

He snapped at the gathering…

 

 

The more loyal members of the fan club became enraged and went on the attack…

 

And sadly Roddy and his morals were no more…

The moral of the story is, you never know what you are buying in to…

…or who you are drinking a beer with…

 

Thanks for reading…

 

 

 

 

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Today in “What? Craft Beer is a Business?”

For the 1st of March 2017…

Brewer offers lots of money for Sales Rep

– probably getting paid more than most brewers out there

Distribution Company that once tried to sue craft brewer buys controlling interest in craft brewery

Halewood extends into beer with Hawkshead Brewery deal

 

Punk Brewing Gods issue Cease and Desist to Pub

Heineken Trolls Craft Beer with their own words

– while also buying loads of UK pubs to annoy everyone else in the beer world.

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Brewdog – If a dog barks in a forest and no-one is around…

…do only foolish sycophants easily parted from their money hear it?

 

So the obvious nature of this blog is “pointless, small-time beer blogger tries to make name for himself by having a go at THE ‘craft’ brewer in the UK.”

I’ve been loathed to write articles about said brewery in the past due to the fact that their Modus Operandi is to create controversy and any kind of mention, good or bad, is extra advertising and recognition for their brand.

I have nothing against the beer that they make.  I’ve had a lot of it in the past, I’ve got glassware and even a t-shirt.  I’ve got quite a few emails from a lovely woman called Angela who apologised every time I placed an order because it was always delivered incorrectly.  They were professional and went above and beyond in correcting the order and even providing additional beer by way of an apology.

I stopped buying their beer around the time they started shoving bottles up the backsides of taxidermal animals.

It wasn’t because of that, it was because around that time Brewdog apparently fell foul of the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) for using naughty swear words.

Which enable them to generate more “punk” advertising.

Only the ASA had receive one complaint and that was from Brewdog themselves.

There are few things I like more than beer but one that stands clearly above the booze is freedom of speech.

So by all means do market you product however you feel and use whatever language you want I’ll support you in that quest, I just won’t necessarily contribute financially.

The problem I have is it freedom of speech (and more worryingly, freedom of thought) is under attack from all quarters.

The crusade for morality that I grew up with in the 1980s led by Mary Whitehouse and her merry band of religious and conservative (politically & morally) nut-jobs that lead to the banning of films and stickers on albums has now been flipped on its head that now it is generally the politically liberal who seek to curb any speech or thought that anyone may get offended at.

One term is called micro-aggression.  Look it up, to have a mind-set like that is not only closed to ideas is not only unevolved but is also just plain dangerous.

What does this have to do with Brewdog you might ask?

Well to me complaining about your own language to generate more hype and then to use this to play the victim is not only just typical of spoilt bullies who are used to getting their own way but slowly chips away at free speech, a speech that the marketing department at Brewdog rely on heavily.

This was brought into stark reality a few weeks ago when the article below appeared in the Guardian.

UK craft beer: taking over the world one pint at a time

It featured a quote from the well-respected blogger Melissa Cole who said of Brewdog:

“A lot of their stuff is disingenuous, dull or mildly offensive…”

Which it is.  They are indeed disingenuous and dull but offence is up to each individual, I personally don’t find anything they do offensive other than chipping away at free speech…

…so on cue, James Watt plays his victim card with the bullying tone…

He then witters on about something completely unrelated…

Good use of advertising a new beer launch…

If you read the full conversation you can clearly see Miss/Ms/Mrs Cole defends (not that she has to) her position very well, in clear and simplistic terms that even the most dull and disingenuous fuckwit could understand, addressing both Watt and some of the more insalubrious adherents to the Brewdog cult fanclub crowdfunding shareholding.

What is actually most gratifying is that most of the comments of Watt’s tweets about this incident do point out that the emperor does indeed have no clothes but squeaky wheels do get the grease and boy are they greased well.

The problem with Brewdog and their marketing MO is that their prime audience is composed of the easily offended (as well as the easily pleased) and they are the exact people who chip, chip, chip away at the foundations of free speech and I’m less bothered about them not buying Brewdog products or starting up po-faced petitions as am I about the impact it has on everyone else’s ability to think and speak how they so wish.

Long may they continue to brew the good beers they generally produce and long may they be called out on their bullshit which, like the boy who cried wolf is every time they open their pie-holes.  This may seem like bit of an over reaction and it may well give Brewdog too much credit, but like water dripping on concrete, every little whine about things that offend someone erodes these freedoms I and many others hold dear.

 

Please whine below if you need to, I’ll field all (or most likely only the 2 I’ll receive) of your comments.

 

Thanks for reading.