Beer Gets Another 10 Commandments

 

Beer in general got its own 10 Commandments issued in July of this year, curated by those that know better than everyone else who drinks.

And now our betters; those that write communicate beer to the public; in such a way that they needed to form their own club with their own private invite system.  Those that sometimes getting to flash their knowledgeable heads on Sunday morning Channel 4 toff programmes now get to dictate to not only their members but plebs like me who may wish to blog about beer every so often.

 

Of course this may sound like sour grapes but that long-standing quote by Groucho Marx seems most appropriate for this situation…

โ€œThe oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them.โ€

 

I suppose where CAMRA led with it Revitalisation Project so too all other off shoots of the beer bubble must follow.  Everyone “in” beer has an image to portray and this must be upheld at all times.  Even if they are preaching to the converted of an ever decreasing congregation.

The less said about the scruffy oiks that drink the stuff the best.

It is a brave new world.

Viva Le Schism.

 

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Apologies if you were expecting NPC-meme related content, it is a disposable as each passing beer fad is.

Advertisements

Attention Beer Bloggers – Article 13

Granted, I’m not really a blogger solely about beer any more but if this piece is to reach those circles I used to rotate in then let this be the equivalent of a bat signal.

Basically, and as balanced as I can relay the information as I understand it, Article 13 is a poorly drafted piece of legislation that could in effect make us bloggers, bloggers about anything for that matter, have to pay to link to news stories we are commenting on.

Eh?

There could also be monetary exchanges required to even use some else’s intellectual property that has been transformed enough to deem it, as is currently allowed, acceptable use.ย  In other words, you won’t be able to make satirical, parody or even comment on anything based on songs, films, another blog and anything else without it possibly being censored.

More information below.

I’d appreciate if those that still may be on twitter can push this around said beer circles, just to highlight possible future problems.

Link 1

Link 2

The Petition

Contact your MEP

Thanks for reading.

Stairway to Heineken

*Not to be performed in guitar shops*

There’s a Logan who’s not sure if all that glitters is gold
Is he buying a stairway to Heineken?
If he does then he knows, all Brewdog bars are all closed
Maybe investment from private equity is what he should go for.
Ooh, ooh, is he buying a stairway to Heineken?

There’s a sign on the wall saying punk, but are you sure?
But craft deals in absolute and not duality of meanings.
In a Fevertree by the brook, there’s a neckbeard who sings,
Some day all beer will be subject to minimum unit pricing.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There’s a feeling I get when I look to the bar,
And my autistic spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke in the breeze,
But a 2007 ban makes those stand outside.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it’s bellowed that soon, if we all sing the same tune,
Then the Peter will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the cellars will echo with Kegstar.

*Enter Drums*

If there’s a bushel in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now,
It’s just a spring clean, please ring CaskWatch.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
It’s either cask or keg and that’s it.

And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won’t go, in case you don’t know,
The CAMRA’s calling you to join them,
Boak Bailey, they can you hear the wind blow, but did you know?
Your blogs are really just all hot wind.

*5th best guitar solo ever*

And as we drink on down the road
Did we all just really sell our souls?
There walks a lady we all know
Who fights beer sexism and wants to show
Adverts disguised as journalism turn to gold.
But no one listens very hard
The tune will one day all be lost.
When it’s just beer and that is all
Your hand is dealt, now just call fold.

Is he buying a stairway to Heineken?