Woke Siba and the Heretic Hunting Crafties

Last week I went and got the brewery mail and low there was a new copy of the SIBA journal.

I don’t read it, no one reads it here, I doubt many read it who actually get it delivered but then again this blog is probably going to make as many spurious claims as SIBA themselves regularly do.

It stays in it plastic (eco scum) wrap until I take it home and unpack it to put it in the paper recycling, as I like the false feeling of altruism when get when you put anything into recycling.

Numerous thought went through my head on seeing the cover and the first was to “have to check twitter” and the first was confirmed when I noticed they were pushing it to buggery.

And then the good old “we’ve got so many requests, we’re giving it away online”

File under – didn’t happen.  This is SIBA, you have to be slightly idiotic to give money to them in the first place let alone heed or read anything the belch out by many requests they probably mean the people that wrote the articles pushed it too and SIBA’s notifications were lit like never before (and never again).

So, just like those businesses that during Pride month go all rainbow flag crazy only to dump them come the 1st of July it is unsurprising to see another SIBA follow this trend.

My main query is why stick all these stories together into one magazine?

I can imagine the brainstorming session that went into this issue:

SIBA Exec 1: “We’ve got a lot of women, dykes, nignogs and wrong cocks who are getting into beer these days, how can we raise our profile?”

SIBA Exec 2: “How about a special issue in or around that fag pride month they do, we can get some representatives for each relevant tribe to write pieces about there difficulties in beer.”

SIBA Exec 1: “I like the sound of that.  It seems June is the month of the bumders so if we do it for our summer issue we don’t need to cover it again for a whole 12 months.”

SIBA Exec 2: “Great, we wouldn’t want to normalise these kinds of behaviors by having stories crop up in our regular issues,  best just cram them into one place and then the rest of our issues we can devote to proper, normal beer people.”

**High Fives All Round**

What sums up this bullshit best is the intro to this issue:

“When I started writing about beer and pubs back in the mid-1990s I was often struck by how few women, and even fewer people of colour and representatives of the LGBTQ community there were at industry events and gatherings.  I was quite frankly often the only woman in the room, a room that is predominantly filled with middle-aged white British men.”

Census data from 1991 says that 94.1% of Britain was ethnic white.  Etc., etc., et-fucking-cetera.

I see your agenda Caroline, I also see your woke racism and sexism, the good kind of sexism and racism.

In the way that beer twitter moves I was led down the rabbit hole to this tweet…

The replies to this tweet and the original quoted tweet are a joy to behold.  Such progressive thinking.  Such wide and open minds behind the closed fists.

Yes, free speech and free thought do not mean you have a right to an audience but it must be wonderful to be building up those walls of your bubbles so, so high.

And if “TERFS are scum” as everyone’s favourite fat, narcissist cunt claims then it would be interesting to know what Amber and the other plonker that favourited this opinion think of people who plead guilty and are duly convicted of criminal damage and assault are.

Woke scum I suppose, the good kind of scum.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Beer People Are…Fans of Assault

Turns out I was wrong and that the guy behind @themadbrewery twitter handle is the guy who “milkshaked” Farage.

It’s amazing how hair loss can change the appearance of a person.

So not only is he now a convicted criminal, unemployed, fat and unnecessarily ugly* he is also losing his hair, and all at 32.  Brian Epstein, Bruce Lee and Mama Cass never achieved this much before they died.

But yeah, political violence…whoo.

When I first saw the news that the guy had pleaded guilty to assault and criminal damage I went in search of his account to find he had locked it again but as per my duff old phone, it allowed me to see all the replies to him and quite a few caught my eye as I recognised their names.

One in particular a Mr. Matthew Curtis

What a total prat.  The kind of bloke, or close approximation*, who hides behind the bully going “yeah!”

Then I noted a fundraiser had been started for the assailant to cover his costs and fines.

Oh…who’s that again…

Now granted you can add any name you want to these things, what is more shocking is the lowly fiver donation, perhaps the beer grift doesn’t pay that well after all, or maybe it is someone pretending to be him (or honestly has the same name).

 

Reading through twitter and the comments on the fund raiser you do have to laugh at the mental gymnastics of it all, especially from the prick that set it up.

How everyone detests Farage so this kind of violence is acceptable.

Detests? Hmmm, a synonym of detests is hate.

And throwing things at people is a crime.

Oh god, these people are justifying a “hate crime.”

 

“He shouldn’t have to face further punishment because he has already lost his job.”

Because only one of either the law courts or an accused employers should be responsible for the sentencing of a criminal.  Shit, if only Ian Huntley was sacked from his job as a caretaker then he needn’t have been convicted of life imprisonment for the murder of two children, really the legal system is all backwards.

It’ll be fun, when part of your future employment is to have your financial transactions combed through.

“Let’s see, it says here Mr. Curtis you like to donate a fair bit to crowd funding sites.”

“Yes, I like to support people within the brewing industry.”

“Can you give us some examples, please?”

“Certainly, apart from my presence as a social media influencer I’ve also donated to getting new equipment for a whole manner of breweries in order that they may expand the out put and also to start ups.”

“Excellent; very commendable, who is this Paul Crowther you’ve donated to, was he the owner of a start up brewery?”

“He was a home brewer who was also convicted of criminal damage and assault.”

“Right.  Thank you for your time.”

 

Lets get this straight.  What anyone does with their own money is up to them but don’t be even so much as questioning someone else’s morals or political persuasions or thought or speech if you’re willing giving your money over to anyone who is a stranger and a criminal.

You may as well donate your money to the Nigerian generals that send you spam requests if that’s your view in life.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

*Red Dwarf, Season Five, Episode 1 – Holoship.

I Fantasise About Throwing Chorlton Brewery’s Battery Acid Beers at Jo Brand

The title is a joke.

It is also a massive lie.

I’ve never fantasised about Jo Brand.  I wouldn’t even rape Jo Brand.  The only time I see her is if she is on my tele and then I quickly change the channel before she makes another witty observation about cake.

I wouldn’t possess any of Chorlton Brewery’s “battery acid” beers to throw at her either as I wouldn’t have bought them, seeing as they are hard to find in Manchester for a start and therefore the only other way of getting them would be to stove in Mike’s head, or any other employee that may still work there, with a brick and steal some.

Of course I wouldn’t do any of that because bestowing physical violence, rape and theft are criminal acts and particularly heinous and nasty ones at that.

Jokes aren’t crimes.

Well, they shouldn’t be but in this day and age words and offence are far more easily taken than given.

Count Dankula – convicted of “gross indecency” for making a joke

He was warning about this.

This blog has been warning about this.

Well, not the general public.  We all carry on working as normal, having a drink and getting on with our lives and then wonder what has happened to the world around us

The mass media, the social media users and the political bubble make up the rules, make up the arguments and the faux outrage and somehow this is how laws are drafted these days.

When I was growing up it was “the right” that got offended by jokes.

In more recent history, back when Frankie Boyle had an edge and hadn’t happily compromised it for a BBC pay check he got in to trouble making a joke about the Queen.

Furore but nothing much happened.  Though Boyle didn’t last much longer on TV after that, mainly because his Channel 4 TV show wasn’t as funny as his stand-up.

This has flipped, sort of, in the last 3 years to “the left” now getting upset at everything.

Danny Baker was sacked for a tweeted joke he made.  He made it in a personal capacity.  Also at the expense of the royal family.  He apologised but in this instance the BBC sacked him.

Jo Brand made a joke about throwing acid instead of milkshakes at people she disagreed with.

And so “the right,” trying to take notes out of the new left’s offence play book have kicked up a fuss to the extent that now our useless and wholly ineffective Prime Minister has stepped in.

Boyle and Brand probably weren’t at the time/aren’t employed by the BBC, contract wise, so short of not hiring them again they can’t do much.  In both of these instances though, the programmes were recorded, edited and then the material was deemed suitable for broadcast.

Which it is.

Because it’s a fucking joke.

Baker, being employed by the BBC, was able to be sacked and as such some would say this “right wing outrage” is merely to highlight the inconsistency shown by the BBC and media in general, towards anyone said not to be on “the left.”

I get that but this action merely greases the slope even more.  It normalises bullshit like this and makes it easier for the police to waste their time investigating non-crimes like this when they should be doing real criminal investigations.  Like wrong think on social media.

 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

(Morrissey x Killdren) – Common Sense + Outrage =

A list of the reasons why bands/the music of certain acts was banned in the USSR.  Of course they aren’t the only (former or current) nation to have such a draconian approach to what art is deemed offensive.

 

Certain Christian groups in the USA thought that AC/DC stood for Away from Christ the Devils Calls (a fine backronym).

When I went to Donnington in 1995 the local vicar wanted to perform a ritual at the ground, so sure was he that Satan himself would appear when the band White Zombie performed.

I’m remembering; though it was before my time, the legendary TV moment the Sex Pistols were interviewed by Bill Grundy (a fine soak of a Lancastrian) and the reporting fury in the next days newspapers about the offence taking at the profanity used before the watershed (9pm UK time), or even at a time of family viewing.

The Sex Pistols launched themselves into mainstream consciousness but I always wonder, please feel free to comment below, just how much impact the wearing of the Nazi version of the Swastika was in offending people because in this day and age, swearing at any time of day is a bit passé but far-right tropes are very hip.

I’m also remembering the Iron Maiden single Sanctuary and this front cover…

This Wikipedia article documents the controversy about this and of “Maggie’s revenge” on a the cover art of a subsequent Iron Maiden single.

Being a fan of the rock and heavy metal genres, offence is something you never can take with any band or artwork or article of clothing within the umbrella because it is a given that it will happen and that is probably why you like the band (other than the music).

The original cover of Guns N’ Roses “Appetite for Destruction” LP.

The Vestal Masturbation t-shirt by Cradle of Filth.

Every song ever recorded by Cannibal Corpse.

But that was before 2016 and life has been very different since then.

The modern life of an outrage story is brief but its echoes can stretch for a while and then even come back in on themselves.

I’ve never got Morrissey, or The Smith for that matter.  I appreciate them in the way I appreciate say David Bowie or Elton John, they are highly talented, clearly successful and even I like a handful of their songs but none of their works are in my record collection.

The same goes for Killdren, who I doubt anyone has heard of and in a short while I doubt anyone will, not because they are bad, or good, music is of course subjective but that they will be able to ride their little wave of notoriety for a few weeks before inevitably fading.

Morrissey; as far as this author is concerned’ is a prissy twat who I have, at least from a stance of liking people who can troll a varied amount of self-identifying groups, gained a marked amount of respect for as I’ve got older.

He continually rankles meat eaters (of which I am one) in a way that the standard whiny veggie or vegan can only dream of but his latest annoyance, as of only the start of last week (say 27th May 2019) was to perform on a US talk show wearing a pin badge for the “far-right” For Britain Party, for which his support seems to be based on his avid animal rights stances.

Queue the outrage train, literally, as Morrissey’s posters for his latest album (hmm, being provocative tied in with the launch of new material, what strange and new behaviour is this?) were taken down from MerseyRail train stations within Liverpool following, one complaint.  Whether the complainant was a full on born and bred member of the self-pity city or just had the misfortune to live/work there we will never know.

Fast forward to today (3rd June 2019) and the latest bit of politically-motivated musical outrage comes courtesy of a “punk” band called Killdren who were set to be performing at the annual designer wellie-booted twat parade that is the Glastonbury music festival.

I once went to Glastonbury; the only vague memory I have of it, the best aspect that is, is that once you were in the grounds you were in.  You could walk from your tent with whatever alcohol you’d brought in with you and you wouldn’t have to leave it outside another designated area if you wanted to go in to see the performances.  Yet they still had bars and people were still buying from them, a revelation.

A acquaintance’s band was also playing there that year, in some pointless small tent at about 2 in the morning.  This is the slot that Killdren were allotted where they could perform their classic work “Kill Tory Scum” and possibly depict the murder and mutilation of conservative members and voters as a way of highlighting how years of austerity have killed thousands of innocent people.

Apparently.

It is all fair comment.  Regardless of you political stance it is a simple, trite and none nuanced way of getting your opinions across and if you can get extra publicity from the offended and its associated one-day tidal wave of shit then everyone is happy.

And you can sell a lot more t-shirts.  Yeah, punk ethos, down with corporate whores.

That in the space of a week the political left and the political right have both been offended by appropriations of opposing politics in artistic form helps me feel comfortable that I am, personally at least, wonderfully surfing in the middle on an free expression tidal bore.

And so, until the next shit tides starts as a ripple I’ll leave you with some Cannibal Corpse.

 

Hmm, not sure why all the water references came in, probably to do with all the salty tears of offence that have been shed and will never stop flowing.

 

Thanks for reading.

UK Police Investigate UK Police for Wasting UK Police Time

Danny Baker is being investigated by the police for a tweet.

People less famous than him are being investigated by police every day for things the put online.

Not threats, not violence, nothing in the least bit dangerous in any rational sense.

Just people putting their thought and opinions online.

For anyone to read.

Or for no one to read.

And the police take action.

Because they are so underfunded and are so stretched that that need to be wasting their time with this shit.

Or even having to be in a position to have to say they are investigating because that is what our current political and social climate demands.

This is backwards.

The world is going backwards

We don’t need revolutions, the clue is in the name, it revolves, we go round in circles.

We need to seriously evolve.

We’ve evolved from apes to then act like apes being offended by a shaved ape tweeting about an ape which is comparable to a slur that compares people to apes.

If people went to the pub and socialised with people in person rather this shit would never be an issue.

Well it might, but then you could physically sort it out, in person, face-to-face by fighting.

Like apes.

This is what drunk blogging reads like.

Now I’m off to have another beer and watch a film.

Planet of the Apes perhaps.

 

Thanks for reading.

I’m A Nazi, I Drink Your Milkshake But I Wouldn’t Even Rape You

Truth be told, I’ve never actually seen “There Will Be Blood” from with the milkshake reference is taken from.

And I’m definitely not a Nazi.

And I not comfortable with using rape in any other context other than a discussion about rape.

But that is just me, whether comfortable or uncomfortable if someone wants to us rape as an analogy, or in a humorous way then have at it.

I’ve been watching the YouTuber known as Sargon of Akkad for sometime, even before he sent his infamous tweet; for those who don’t know the reference the you can view all Sargon’s videos at his account here but to summarise a female UK MP for the Labour party made rather, in the nicest way I can put it, off-colour and childish remarks and actions (fake laughing) at a proposal to discuss men’s mental health and suicides.  It is quite possible that she made an honest mistake and got the wrong end of what was being proposed and for the sake of being magnanimous I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

Because of her interpreted crass behaviour and doing what all shit lords do in order to get a reaction, Sargon tweeted at the MP “I wouldn’t even rape you”

It can be interpreted many ways, it is quite clever when you think about it and to me that is a statement of non-intent but it takes some mental gymnastics to argue that it is a threat to actually rape.  Unless just saying rape out of context is akin to actual rape, which is nonsense.  Anyway ss I stated at the start, it isn’t something I’m personally, particularly comfortable with but I agree that you can use it in the context of a joke, as Carlin does below (then goes on to do a bit that I don’t find humorous, still comedy is subjective).

 

Sargon got his reaction and then everyone went on their way a few hours later, as is the general carry on with social media outrage.

This was at least 3 years ago and as Sargon is now standing for UKIP as an MEP it is apparently now fit for the police to investigate the tweet and to question (BBC link) “how a person who wrote the comments online was allowed to run to be an MEP”

The term “malicious communications” is another wonderfully, open-ended Orwellian charge that can be used to shut down opponents or at least extract money from the unfortunate.

In my opinion Jess Philips (the MP in question) is not an honest actor, she has shown herself time and again to be, at the very least inconsistent and in general just a hypocrite when it comes to dealing with bullying, abuse and misogyny.  She portrays herself as a tough and ready to rumble woman but will happily play the victim when it is advantageous.

Having said that, I obviously never condone abuse, physically or verbally, of anyone, politician or not.

What classifies as abuse is an ever shifting window (all hail the Overton), whereby a simple disagreement can be interpreted as abuse just, well just because it is a disagreement.

It does depend who you are talking to, most normal people like discussion like that, well contested and even with the odd insult thrown in and then there are those that if you have any sort of differing opinion to them then you are a Nazi.

And with all that said, this brings us to Tommy Robinson.

Tommy Robinson is again for me, not an honest actor.  He and Jess Philips are two sides of the same coin, the only difference and it is a big difference, is that Robinson has criminal convictions to his name (and a posh sounding real name that everyone who hates him just loves to keep repeating for some reason).

Last week, Robinson was doing a tour of some towns in the UK, as he too is standing to be an MEP and during his time out in the streets he was hit with numerous milkshakes.  You can probably find the footage online.

Now the instinctive reaction of myself is to laugh when anyone gets hit with any food item.  I’m not a fan of the wastage of food but for comedic value (and to a lesser extent a very strong hint at political dissatisfaction) it is acceptable on that level.

Legally though it is probably assault.

Well, if you are the right kind of person or politician, or person standing to be an elected official.  If you’re Robinson, you’ll just have to wear it well and hope you’re not lactose intolerant as somehow the people that threw the milkshakes become the victim.

It’s like Covington, UK style.

 

I don’t know, the pre-social media age of politics was such a less divided time to witness.

 

 

Which takes us round full to circle to Jess Philips who said she would (Guardian) “knife Jeremy Corbyn in the front” which of course is a paraphrase of well know saying and also, well a malicious communication.

 

Thanks for reading.

Greta of Nazareth

I’ve commented before on kids that “strike” or rather leave school illegally, the last time it happened in the UK was the final Friday before half term, and what happened on the following Monday and every other subsequent day of that week that kids were legally off school, why yes, the roads were a lot less filled with cars.

Stunning, it’s as if kids take for granted what gets them to school just to fulfil their narcissism.

To be honest, I can’t have a go at any one under 18, it doesn’t seem right does it?  You could suggest, rather conspiratorial that any child used in any form of politically campaign was being cynically exploited by their so-called responsible adults but that still doesn’t tackle the issues that they are raising, genuinely or not.

We are at another strange cross roads in the developed west, where those that have seen democracy let them down (i.e. a few voting results went against them) feel the need to launch a new phase that involves those of non-voting age to be considered as knowledgeable and right thinking enough to be given the right to vote and to manipulate current political thinking.

And for their own desperate narcissism, the political class of all stripes actual entertain such things.

At least Theresa May, in a rare show of sense or just a clash of schedules, wasn’t around for the photo ops.

And this is my whole problem with this and with the rich twats known as Extinction Rebellion, and with David Attenborough and every other bloody thing that seems to be about the environment.

Personally speaking I have always recycled; I watch what chemicals I use (which is difficult when you whole entire career(s) have involved working with chemicals, and also using a tremendous amount of water), I don’t litter, for the majority of my time I’m a walker and public transport user rather than a motorist but it is all getting a bit like adverts on a Sunday morning.

I hate people who mistreat animals but there are only a certain amount of ads I can see from the RSPCA or the Donkey Sanctuary before I just tune out.  Likewise I’ve seen too many emaciated polar bears, too many oil covered sea birds, too many turtles caught in plastic to actually give a crap any more.

Worst of all it the cult like, neo-religionist nature of it all and with Greta Thunberg the environment lobby groups have found their messiah; a figure that is beyond criticism because of her age and because of her mental illness and therefore to oppose her thoughts and wishes is to oppose to vulnerable child.

Shamima Begum wishes she had her PR team.

 

Thanks for reading.