Manchester Foodies Political Intolerance

I was racking my brain for a more punchy title, obviously based around food intolerance, etc. so all ideas are welcome.  This one is certainly less click-bait than the original “The Bigots of the Manchester Craft scene.”

Plus it needs to be said that I have no idea if the title is grammatically correct, meh.

One of my mates is actually an entrepreneur of the burgeoning food scene in Manchester and he too charges astronomical prices for what is a simple product to make and sell and fair play to him.  Fair play to all of them, if you can mug someone off for triple the price and let your confidence trick of more cash must equal better product than have at it, fools and their money.

But as I’ve droned on about before, business and politics don’t mix and said friend in a WhatsApp chat posted this picture…

I wonder if Slowthai will make an appearance?

You just know that all the food and drink available there will be so salty from the tears that Sally Davies would be shutting the event down on the grounds of it being hazardous to health.

And why couldn’t a charity event be held on a weekend, perhaps the rich pickings of the weekend crowd are far too much to give up for the homeless.  Then again Tuesday is a nothing day so I suppose it has less challenges for attention.

As far as I’m aware the #pleaseleavemytown is a reference to this…

 

A typically British confrontation; quietly reserved, passive-aggression met with passive acceptance and droll humour.

“My town” – one bloke with a personal opinion.  Not bubbled seals harping on thinking they speak for everyone.

Still, please leave is quite comparable to “go back to where you came from” and speaking to power is fine, speaking to simple members and voters is just a question of punching in every direction other than up but that is what we’ve become, when simple differences of opinion can see the use of certain words lose all meaning from over use and in completely the wrong context.

More civilised that the way Antifa behave at least…

Still homelessness is worthy enough cause to contribute to, after all its proponents are the first to resist the craft beer wave; why bother paying £10 for a half of an imperial stout or TIPA, when you can mix and match four cans of Kestrel, Skol, Tennent’s and Carlsberg Super Strength for the same price.

 

In other fake news, it turns out both Grub and Indy Man Beer Festival had to issue retractions recently.  Happy they were that rather than the white and middle class turning up to all their events, they finally managed to attract their first paying black and arab customers.

Sadly, on all occasions it turned out to be Justin Trudeau.

 

Thanks for reading.

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Woke Siba and the Heretic Hunting Crafties

Last week I went and got the brewery mail and low there was a new copy of the SIBA journal.

I don’t read it, no one reads it here, I doubt many read it who actually get it delivered but then again this blog is probably going to make as many spurious claims as SIBA themselves regularly do.

It stays in it plastic (eco scum) wrap until I take it home and unpack it to put it in the paper recycling, as I like the false feeling of altruism when get when you put anything into recycling.

Numerous thought went through my head on seeing the cover and the first was to “have to check twitter” and the first was confirmed when I noticed they were pushing it to buggery.

And then the good old “we’ve got so many requests, we’re giving it away online”

File under – didn’t happen.  This is SIBA, you have to be slightly idiotic to give money to them in the first place let alone heed or read anything the belch out by many requests they probably mean the people that wrote the articles pushed it too and SIBA’s notifications were lit like never before (and never again).

So, just like those businesses that during Pride month go all rainbow flag crazy only to dump them come the 1st of July it is unsurprising to see another SIBA follow this trend.

My main query is why stick all these stories together into one magazine?

I can imagine the brainstorming session that went into this issue:

SIBA Exec 1: “We’ve got a lot of women, dykes, nignogs and wrong cocks who are getting into beer these days, how can we raise our profile?”

SIBA Exec 2: “How about a special issue in or around that fag pride month they do, we can get some representatives for each relevant tribe to write pieces about there difficulties in beer.”

SIBA Exec 1: “I like the sound of that.  It seems June is the month of the bumders so if we do it for our summer issue we don’t need to cover it again for a whole 12 months.”

SIBA Exec 2: “Great, we wouldn’t want to normalise these kinds of behaviors by having stories crop up in our regular issues,  best just cram them into one place and then the rest of our issues we can devote to proper, normal beer people.”

**High Fives All Round**

What sums up this bullshit best is the intro to this issue:

“When I started writing about beer and pubs back in the mid-1990s I was often struck by how few women, and even fewer people of colour and representatives of the LGBTQ community there were at industry events and gatherings.  I was quite frankly often the only woman in the room, a room that is predominantly filled with middle-aged white British men.”

Census data from 1991 says that 94.1% of Britain was ethnic white.  Etc., etc., et-fucking-cetera.

I see your agenda Caroline, I also see your woke racism and sexism, the good kind of sexism and racism.

In the way that beer twitter moves I was led down the rabbit hole to this tweet…

The replies to this tweet and the original quoted tweet are a joy to behold.  Such progressive thinking.  Such wide and open minds behind the closed fists.

Yes, free speech and free thought do not mean you have a right to an audience but it must be wonderful to be building up those walls of your bubbles so, so high.

And if “TERFS are scum” as everyone’s favourite fat, narcissist cunt claims then it would be interesting to know what Amber and the other plonker that favourited this opinion think of people who plead guilty and are duly convicted of criminal damage and assault are.

Woke scum I suppose, the good kind of scum.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Beer People Are…Fans of Assault

Turns out I was wrong and that the guy behind @themadbrewery twitter handle is the guy who “milkshaked” Farage.

It’s amazing how hair loss can change the appearance of a person.

So not only is he now a convicted criminal, unemployed, fat and unnecessarily ugly* he is also losing his hair, and all at 32.  Brian Epstein, Bruce Lee and Mama Cass never achieved this much before they died.

But yeah, political violence…whoo.

When I first saw the news that the guy had pleaded guilty to assault and criminal damage I went in search of his account to find he had locked it again but as per my duff old phone, it allowed me to see all the replies to him and quite a few caught my eye as I recognised their names.

One in particular a Mr. Matthew Curtis

What a total prat.  The kind of bloke, or close approximation*, who hides behind the bully going “yeah!”

Then I noted a fundraiser had been started for the assailant to cover his costs and fines.

Oh…who’s that again…

Now granted you can add any name you want to these things, what is more shocking is the lowly fiver donation, perhaps the beer grift doesn’t pay that well after all, or maybe it is someone pretending to be him (or honestly has the same name).

 

Reading through twitter and the comments on the fund raiser you do have to laugh at the mental gymnastics of it all, especially from the prick that set it up.

How everyone detests Farage so this kind of violence is acceptable.

Detests? Hmmm, a synonym of detests is hate.

And throwing things at people is a crime.

Oh god, these people are justifying a “hate crime.”

 

“He shouldn’t have to face further punishment because he has already lost his job.”

Because only one of either the law courts or an accused employers should be responsible for the sentencing of a criminal.  Shit, if only Ian Huntley was sacked from his job as a caretaker then he needn’t have been convicted of life imprisonment for the murder of two children, really the legal system is all backwards.

It’ll be fun, when part of your future employment is to have your financial transactions combed through.

“Let’s see, it says here Mr. Curtis you like to donate a fair bit to crowd funding sites.”

“Yes, I like to support people within the brewing industry.”

“Can you give us some examples, please?”

“Certainly, apart from my presence as a social media influencer I’ve also donated to getting new equipment for a whole manner of breweries in order that they may expand the out put and also to start ups.”

“Excellent; very commendable, who is this Paul Crowther you’ve donated to, was he the owner of a start up brewery?”

“He was a home brewer who was also convicted of criminal damage and assault.”

“Right.  Thank you for your time.”

 

Lets get this straight.  What anyone does with their own money is up to them but don’t be even so much as questioning someone else’s morals or political persuasions or thought or speech if you’re willing giving your money over to anyone who is a stranger and a criminal.

You may as well donate your money to the Nigerian generals that send you spam requests if that’s your view in life.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

*Red Dwarf, Season Five, Episode 1 – Holoship.

I Fantasise About Throwing Chorlton Brewery’s Battery Acid Beers at Jo Brand

The title is a joke.

It is also a massive lie.

I’ve never fantasised about Jo Brand.  I wouldn’t even rape Jo Brand.  The only time I see her is if she is on my tele and then I quickly change the channel before she makes another witty observation about cake.

I wouldn’t possess any of Chorlton Brewery’s “battery acid” beers to throw at her either as I wouldn’t have bought them, seeing as they are hard to find in Manchester for a start and therefore the only other way of getting them would be to stove in Mike’s head, or any other employee that may still work there, with a brick and steal some.

Of course I wouldn’t do any of that because bestowing physical violence, rape and theft are criminal acts and particularly heinous and nasty ones at that.

Jokes aren’t crimes.

Well, they shouldn’t be but in this day and age words and offence are far more easily taken than given.

Count Dankula – convicted of “gross indecency” for making a joke

He was warning about this.

This blog has been warning about this.

Well, not the general public.  We all carry on working as normal, having a drink and getting on with our lives and then wonder what has happened to the world around us

The mass media, the social media users and the political bubble make up the rules, make up the arguments and the faux outrage and somehow this is how laws are drafted these days.

When I was growing up it was “the right” that got offended by jokes.

In more recent history, back when Frankie Boyle had an edge and hadn’t happily compromised it for a BBC pay check he got in to trouble making a joke about the Queen.

Furore but nothing much happened.  Though Boyle didn’t last much longer on TV after that, mainly because his Channel 4 TV show wasn’t as funny as his stand-up.

This has flipped, sort of, in the last 3 years to “the left” now getting upset at everything.

Danny Baker was sacked for a tweeted joke he made.  He made it in a personal capacity.  Also at the expense of the royal family.  He apologised but in this instance the BBC sacked him.

Jo Brand made a joke about throwing acid instead of milkshakes at people she disagreed with.

And so “the right,” trying to take notes out of the new left’s offence play book have kicked up a fuss to the extent that now our useless and wholly ineffective Prime Minister has stepped in.

Boyle and Brand probably weren’t at the time/aren’t employed by the BBC, contract wise, so short of not hiring them again they can’t do much.  In both of these instances though, the programmes were recorded, edited and then the material was deemed suitable for broadcast.

Which it is.

Because it’s a fucking joke.

Baker, being employed by the BBC, was able to be sacked and as such some would say this “right wing outrage” is merely to highlight the inconsistency shown by the BBC and media in general, towards anyone said not to be on “the left.”

I get that but this action merely greases the slope even more.  It normalises bullshit like this and makes it easier for the police to waste their time investigating non-crimes like this when they should be doing real criminal investigations.  Like wrong think on social media.

 

 

Thanks for reading.

 

(Morrissey x Killdren) – Common Sense + Outrage =

A list of the reasons why bands/the music of certain acts was banned in the USSR.  Of course they aren’t the only (former or current) nation to have such a draconian approach to what art is deemed offensive.

 

Certain Christian groups in the USA thought that AC/DC stood for Away from Christ the Devils Calls (a fine backronym).

When I went to Donnington in 1995 the local vicar wanted to perform a ritual at the ground, so sure was he that Satan himself would appear when the band White Zombie performed.

I’m remembering; though it was before my time, the legendary TV moment the Sex Pistols were interviewed by Bill Grundy (a fine soak of a Lancastrian) and the reporting fury in the next days newspapers about the offence taking at the profanity used before the watershed (9pm UK time), or even at a time of family viewing.

The Sex Pistols launched themselves into mainstream consciousness but I always wonder, please feel free to comment below, just how much impact the wearing of the Nazi version of the Swastika was in offending people because in this day and age, swearing at any time of day is a bit passé but far-right tropes are very hip.

I’m also remembering the Iron Maiden single Sanctuary and this front cover…

This Wikipedia article documents the controversy about this and of “Maggie’s revenge” on a the cover art of a subsequent Iron Maiden single.

Being a fan of the rock and heavy metal genres, offence is something you never can take with any band or artwork or article of clothing within the umbrella because it is a given that it will happen and that is probably why you like the band (other than the music).

The original cover of Guns N’ Roses “Appetite for Destruction” LP.

The Vestal Masturbation t-shirt by Cradle of Filth.

Every song ever recorded by Cannibal Corpse.

But that was before 2016 and life has been very different since then.

The modern life of an outrage story is brief but its echoes can stretch for a while and then even come back in on themselves.

I’ve never got Morrissey, or The Smith for that matter.  I appreciate them in the way I appreciate say David Bowie or Elton John, they are highly talented, clearly successful and even I like a handful of their songs but none of their works are in my record collection.

The same goes for Killdren, who I doubt anyone has heard of and in a short while I doubt anyone will, not because they are bad, or good, music is of course subjective but that they will be able to ride their little wave of notoriety for a few weeks before inevitably fading.

Morrissey; as far as this author is concerned’ is a prissy twat who I have, at least from a stance of liking people who can troll a varied amount of self-identifying groups, gained a marked amount of respect for as I’ve got older.

He continually rankles meat eaters (of which I am one) in a way that the standard whiny veggie or vegan can only dream of but his latest annoyance, as of only the start of last week (say 27th May 2019) was to perform on a US talk show wearing a pin badge for the “far-right” For Britain Party, for which his support seems to be based on his avid animal rights stances.

Queue the outrage train, literally, as Morrissey’s posters for his latest album (hmm, being provocative tied in with the launch of new material, what strange and new behaviour is this?) were taken down from MerseyRail train stations within Liverpool following, one complaint.  Whether the complainant was a full on born and bred member of the self-pity city or just had the misfortune to live/work there we will never know.

Fast forward to today (3rd June 2019) and the latest bit of politically-motivated musical outrage comes courtesy of a “punk” band called Killdren who were set to be performing at the annual designer wellie-booted twat parade that is the Glastonbury music festival.

I once went to Glastonbury; the only vague memory I have of it, the best aspect that is, is that once you were in the grounds you were in.  You could walk from your tent with whatever alcohol you’d brought in with you and you wouldn’t have to leave it outside another designated area if you wanted to go in to see the performances.  Yet they still had bars and people were still buying from them, a revelation.

A acquaintance’s band was also playing there that year, in some pointless small tent at about 2 in the morning.  This is the slot that Killdren were allotted where they could perform their classic work “Kill Tory Scum” and possibly depict the murder and mutilation of conservative members and voters as a way of highlighting how years of austerity have killed thousands of innocent people.

Apparently.

It is all fair comment.  Regardless of you political stance it is a simple, trite and none nuanced way of getting your opinions across and if you can get extra publicity from the offended and its associated one-day tidal wave of shit then everyone is happy.

And you can sell a lot more t-shirts.  Yeah, punk ethos, down with corporate whores.

That in the space of a week the political left and the political right have both been offended by appropriations of opposing politics in artistic form helps me feel comfortable that I am, personally at least, wonderfully surfing in the middle on an free expression tidal bore.

And so, until the next shit tides starts as a ripple I’ll leave you with some Cannibal Corpse.

 

Hmm, not sure why all the water references came in, probably to do with all the salty tears of offence that have been shed and will never stop flowing.

 

Thanks for reading.

Chorlton And the Wheelie Stupid Mike

Clearly a fascist. Milkshake this little old lady.

 

I’ve never understood why people, in their twitter bios put stuff like “work for XYZ, all views my own.”

In this day and age of outrage no amount of extra followers putting who you work for gains you could measure up to the possible unemployment you face if you say the wrong thing.

It is even more daft if you have a personal account but choose to put you own political thoughts, as benign or as violent as you think they are, via your own business account.

As I wrote yesterday’s blog piece about the milkshaking of Nigel Farage; a supposed brewer claiming responsibility and of how politics and beer don’t mix well I thought to myself, I wonder if my favourite woke brewery has a take on this but that was only a thought and I couldn’t be bothered to expose myself to his witterings.

I went to the brewery opening (it is quite cringeworthy reading yourself back after all these years)

I wrote about his tweet about wanting Trump killed (and I’m promptly breaking the not shaming part of this piece but hey, if you’re an offence archaeologist, go hunt for that tweet, it will still be there).

I predicted the brewery might not make it to 2019 (I was clearly wrong, so far).

 

Lord give praise that today I get to pen my fourth piece of this wazzock because he has yet again come out and called not for the continued milkshaking but for the bricking of fascists.

 

On his business account.

 

What are fascists?  Well start from Farage and then basically he will decree who else is to be bricked.

“We can save the world, we can free everyone, even those that didn’t realise they needed saving.”

 

Fortunately he then moved on to his own personal account to continue his war of words with anyone that wanted to have it out with him.

He probably thought his political insights sounded like…

Every commies favourite homophobic murderer

Instead, as he rapidly approaches 50 he actually sounds like

 

His personal account is now locked.

To be fair to him; he is at least honest and knows the woke play book better than most, that you should never really apologise or your enemies will just keep piling on and on and on.

His business address is out there, his home address may be out there too.

I’m unsure how many staff he actually has put in danger because of his nonsense, though of course any violence that befalls anyone is solely on the perpetrator.

He did claim for a while that he wasn’t being serious (on the brewery account) hence the smiley he included in the initial tweet; though his true, raw and real violent thoughts were there for all to screen grab on his personal account.

Which then leads me to ask the question.  If someone were to scrawl a swastika on the roller shutter of his brewery (please do not do this) but adds a smiley face, then it’s OK, it isn’t criminal damage, it isn’t anti-Semitic graffiti, it isn’t a violent threat?

 

The political hypocrisy in the beer world and the bloggers that report on it is real and putrid, but hey Communism is not fascism so yay!

 

Thanks for reading.

The Lying, Milkshaking Brewer?

I’ve written about this new form of apparent political protest called Milkshaking only a fortnight ago and therefore wasn’t planning on needing to do it again but call it serendipity that I was on a break when the news broke than while in Newcastle (Geordie one, not Stoke one) the Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage was the latest victim of a cup full of lactose.

Apparently a £5.25 Five Guys, banana and salted caramel one because nothing says up the socialist revolution than paying big corporations your money in order to waste food throwing it on someone you don’t agree with because, well you either don’t have a good enough argument to counter their rhetoric, or you’re just a bit of a thug.

I’ve talked many times about beer and politics – they really don’t mix but it is your business so if you wish to possible have a detrimental impact on your income then go ahead and spread your wonderful insights to your prospective buyers.

Rather ironically, milkshake beers are a bit of a thing at the moment (or were, I don’t know how quickly the trend has changed already).  So, in that woke way that a lot of 20 year old brewers or 50 year olds who think they are 20 do, there will be a slew of puntastic beer names out there with a political slant.

  • The Revolution will be Pasteurised (which I can’t take credit for)
  • Nige’s shakes bring all the fascicts to the yard (yeah, I’m sure that riff is being played to death)
  • Farage Milkshake, he did Nazi that coming (I’m claiming this one).

What caught my attention was that some bloke with the twitter handle had taken responsibility for it and was, at the time I looked getting praise (not from other brewers I should add).

A quick look through his past conversations, because by some quirk my old phone means I can views twitter like a website without even being logged in (and I left that cesspit a good while ago) means a lot of my old beer bubble bros were having some banter with him.

Cue the end of the day and I have another quick scan to find that said twitter account is now locked and, as per twitter mobs (the “left” and “right” being no different in their hysteria) I noted old tweets screen-grabbed for posterity and photos from the account being shared.

I’m not going to do that here but from what I’ve seen, in a quick comparison between the twitter bloke and the pictures of the bloke that was arrested, they aren’t the same person.

Which then leads to the question…

What kind of wazzock actually takes credit for a criminal act they didn’t even do?

Do they not know how twitter works?  Yes you may well get woke points from strangers and a few follows but is it really worth it for the inevitable backlash and threats that will come your way?

What a pillock, and given how the twitter game works, if the left made the rules of guilt by association then it is quite possible that a few of the rather decent people I left behind on that shit-hole of a website may well be getting dragged, dog-piled or whatever else the slightly unhinged and permanently enraged do when they are online.

The face palming is mighty tonight.

Stay safe and drink well.

 

Thanks for reading.