Beerilingus

Subtitle: FellALEtio – What’s In a Cloudy Beer?

Taking care of beer (even cask beer) is not a massively difficult job, assuming that those in charge of cellars are also in charge of the most rudimentary functionings of common sense.

On a recent escapade to that there London it can’t have been remiss of those on twitter that I made a rather large deal about cloudy beers.  It could be suggested that being a Northerner we are led like a bull with a ring through the nose by other Northern beer bloggers that London can’t keep or serve cask beer properly, and for the sake of argument they also seem to struggle in brewing it (or at least conditioning it) properly too.

Whether the fault of getting a cloudy pint does indeed either lie with the brewery conditioning tactics (yes, yes, it isn’t just exclusive to London), with either a lack of training or more worryingly a lack of care during cellaring is moot in the realms of this piece.

I personally know from serving beer that I will give a warning that a beer is “hazy” – a more socially acceptable phrase for describing beer that isn’t as bright as a (insert your own simile) but isn’t that cloudy to look at.

You can try to explain about chill haze, hop haze and throw in words like clarity and turbidity and things being unfiltered, or you can just go for the tried and tested fob-off “its supposed to be like that”, and with the rise of hop-bomb fruit juices masquerading as beer it’s getting harder to justify the condition a beer (cask or keg) appears to be in.

My point is, why bother?

A cursory search of the interwebs didn’t bring up any list to described the clarity of beer and after a few random discussions in person and on twitter I settled on this:

Bright

Clear

Hazy

Cloudy

Murky

Sludge

Of course I could whack these words into a thesaurus and come up with a different set of words that would also give a witty acronym that would fit in with this piece…but I’m lazy and just want to publish this nonsense.

Point being, we may well eat/drink with out eyes first but we’ve got four (well you mortals have) other senses to discern if something is suitable for our consumption.

Lets be honest, human genitalia is not the most appealing thing to look at but a quick sniff and visual check for possible brie-like residual smeg and a quick flick for resonance should be enough to gauge whether or not its worth putting your laughing tackle anywhere near it.

Still, in the throes of passion or a drunken state sometimes the need to fulfil base desires sees all semblance of dietary discretion go out of the window.

As always, buyer beware.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Beerilingus

  1. Great style of writing! It’s become so much more pertinent about how people believe beers should look. I personally feel cloudy portrays a storm of potential taste. Or it could just be me getting the bottom of the barrel..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s