The Surgeon and the Dildo…

It’s only words…crosswords

I thought dildo as an answer to the “sex toy” clue but I can only assume it is slang specific to the ram-shagging area the crossword was written in that it also can describe “an effeminate man” as it isn’t a descriptor I’ve heard of before.

Dildo in my circle is using as a generic insult, slightly more harsh that idiot but more amusing.

Oddly it was this morning as I got up for a long-held in beer piss that it dawned on my that “US Negro” is an anagram of surgeon.

Looking at anagram solvers online it seems that surgeon isn’t one of the best words to get an actually sensible anagram out of.

Naturally in this climate of hysteria and over reaction it is nice that the BBC, ever so keen to devolve into a tax payer funded version of BuzzFeed, sees fit to yet again trawl the twitterverse to find something to fit its brave, new narrative.

Thankfully, twitter is not short of white people with white guilt ready to call words “illegal.”


Despite the obvious connotations of racial discrimination; just like Caucasoid is a wholly scientific term to describe a biological taxonomic grouping, so too is Negroid.

The main problem here is that the derivations of Negro cause countless people to think of the word used by racists and as such just thinking of the word is mind poison to people living in the safest of spaces.

Context is unimportant. Some words are bad.  Period.  Down the memory hole.

If Derby CAMRA were smart their next crossword should feature an anagram of “cis white male,” for this term is OK to use and not in the least bit derogatory in either a racial of sexuality sense.

For now.


Thanks for reading.


Stop And Scan

Police trial new Home Office mobile fingerprint technology


Insert your own worries, or jokes here…


Then again, Google will monitor your home and tell off your children for you.


But I suppose not buying makes this kind on private invasion more easily avoidable.




Thanks for reading (the government and The Sun webpages).


Low Strength Beer and wine could increase alcohol consumption

The continued bashing of beer (alcohol) being bad has led to a drop off in pub visits, with pubs shutting constantly, as each new generation drinks less than the one previous.

So my initial message to CAMRA and its revitalisation is, don’t bother.

The beer landscape is changing; less people are drinking, let alone drinking in pubs and those that you may seek to bring aboard with whatever “forward thinking” you may hope to propose will never be enough for people that give no shits whether you exist as is, exist but change, or disappear completely.

Your best bet is just to play it out for another 40 years as you’ve done previously, your membership will naturally fall as members die off but to be fair, there will be few pubs to protect and few people actually drinking by the year 2058 so all of this bullshit, all these talking heads and chatterings and tweets really make no difference.


And I’m being optimistic here, thinking that the world will survive till 2058.


Fuck Keg, keep on with the cask beer (and cider and perry if you must), keep the Wetherspoons vouchers but maybe treat your festivals as the adult entertainment they are and lose the massive Big Brother messages because the vast majority of people at them at pearl clutching, offense takers.


I’m Boozy Procrastinator and this is my manifesto for election to the National Executive.


Thanks for reading.

Kerry King…ates…

At one time I though Kerry King of Slayer over used the word instigate but it turns out he doesn’t.  In fact on Slayer’s last album, 2015’s “Repentless,” he doesn’t use it at all.

On 2009’s “World Painted Blood” (what should have been Slayer’s last) he uses instigate in 2 songs, which out of the 5 songs he was solely credited for writing the lyrics to is only 40%.

It only previously featured, once, in 2001’s “God Hates Us All” too.

So basically the initial premise of writing this piece quickly died its death.

But then you realise that the “ate” part of instigate may well be why I think I hear it more than I actually do and then a quick search, or listen seeing as Slayer songs are great in that they are generally short and to the point, and you realise it is probably King’s favourite rhyming sound.

Perpetrate, tolerate, ultimate, manipulate, germinate, delicate, liquidate, hesitate, state, fate, mate, facilitate, emanate, devastate, demonstrate, infiltrate, mutilate, vaccinate, stimulate, intimidate, violate, penetrate, regurgitate, eradicate, replicate, exterminate, intoxicate, exacerbate, create, template, relate, asphyxiate, accentuate, obliterate, depopulate, incinerate, illuminate, initiate, indoctrinate, masturbate, calculate, re-instate, celebrate, desecrate, saturate, stimulate, lacerate, masticate, late, annihilate, castrate, devistate, dominate, instigate….and…


Slayer should have retired when Jeff Hanneman died in 2013 but I suppose 5 years dragged out after that point is as good a time as any.

Still, finishing then would have save me and my brother shedding some tears as we watched 2014 Slayer at Sonisphere.



Thanks for reading.

Yeah….But, No…But, No Fun…

Leeds Union probes hockey team’s ‘ill- judged chav party’

The social contortions of the anti-fun brigade the permeates facets of university and student life and the cretinous union that is supposed to represent them continues unabated.

As any fan of any sport in the UK knows, “we all hate Leeds scum” and there used to be a website called Chavscum right at the dawn of the internet, now it is a poorly populated forum, unlike Leeds which is overly populated with chavs.

Comedians Catherine Tate, David Walliams and Matt Lucas were unavailable for comment as to whether they distance themselves from previous comedy characters they created based on the chav, because all art is to be judged and then deemed worthy or memory hole material by the standards of today’s pearl-clutching, cultural and social warriors of purity.


Of course, should it ever be known that a chav voted to Leave the EU, then it is perfectly acceptable for any right-minded and noble liberal to label them with this apparent pejorative.

The probably also read the Sun or the Daily Mail so mores the reason to castigate them.

This land will be purged of wrong think.


Thanks for reading.


Channel Fake News

I did have a whole draft post dedicated to Channel 4 news.

Wondering how a programme that was seemingly so against the invasion of Iraq (2003 – onwards) could be so hawkish for attacking Syria (2011 – onwards), after it was also so drum bangingly for the attacks on Libya (also 2011 – onwards).  Maybe they are so left-wing they love that the UK supply arms to islamists the underdog rebels, or maybe its because everyone’s favourite, can-do-no-wrong US president, Barack Obama, was so adamant that waging war in these additional two fragile, fragmented and unstable countries was the best thing to do for world peace.

It also questioned how its strange bias has got worse over time and how all their presenters; but mainly Jon Snow, Cathy Newman and Krishnan Guru-Murthy (a man whose best days were on Newsround) and moved away from simple interviews to get to any truth and towards posturing, supposed moral superiority and repetitive, nonsensical talking points.


But fortunately Channel 4 have been very gracious to allow the release of the simple half hour interview to save me writing any further on the subject.



That this is from the same channel that brought us Brass Eye highlights how Channel 4 is drowning in its own self-important, puritanical, moralistic, irony-free drivel.


Thanks for reading.